Have you noticed that sometimes, it seems like the woman is the
one qualifying you, no matter how ugly she is? But then at other times,
you end up qualifying the hottest women? The pendulum of who gets to
qualify who swings back and forth, depending on supply and demand, the
social context, and who the most dominant person is.
How Women Qualify Men
When the woman is the one qualifying you, it seems damn near impossible to meet all of her qualifications. But when you are the one qualifying the woman, it seems too damn easy to get her... And it could be the same woman! The freaky thing about attraction is that it is always about context. A fat guy with a super strong frame in the perfect social situation can frame control a woman into believing that he is the one seeing if she is good enough. And a woman can qualify a high value guy in the right context (night club).
After I discovered this phenomenon, I started to put myself in the best situations or frame control (online game) women into falling into my frame where I am the one seeing if I like her.
Of course, the "best situations" are being in social circles with a lot of attractive women.
Disqualifying Yourself
No matter how good looking or successful you are, if you find yourself in a frame where she is the one qualifying you, she will find one qualification you failed to live up to and reject you. Don't ask me why. It's just how women's brains work. And she will turn around and bang a 50% guy just because she had low expectations for him. He is "congruent" with his low value image.
Wayne Elise came up with a technique called disqualifying yourself. This works with smart women. You show women that you have no need to meet their qualifications. I have found that it is far more effective to frame control women into meeting your qualifications instead. Of course, it has to be genuine. I don't ever let women qualify me, ever. I set the frame from the VERY BEGINNING that I am the one seeing how interesting she is. And through hundreds upon hundreds of online conversation, no woman has ever squeezed out of my frame control. Why is that? It's because even the hottest women yearn to be taken by a strong man with high self-esteem. Sometimes, I run into a woman who can't believe how tight my frame is, and she absolutely loves it.
The secret of all secrets is that she wants to buy into your frame. It is in your frame that she finds meaning and comfort. It is not a frame battle. She is just fronting. At the end of the day, she wants to relax into your masculinity.
It's frustrating because it leads to an abundance in sex you don't particularly care about and a complete lack of sex that you feel would be the most gratifying to you.
Playing Your Cards Right
To some girls you're the biggest player and to some girls you're the biggest chode. Their actual market value doesn't really matter, all that matters is whether or not you played your cards right with that particular girl.
I have seen that play out in real life a few times. It's painful and it's pathetic. At college, one girl I was particularly infatuated about ended up with a guy that I always considered a bit of an insecure loser. The plus side was that this in turn emboldened one of her friends (who up to that point always acted like a queen bee around her) who I dated that ended in a stand-off to ask me out on a date again.
It felt counter-intuitive because normally a girl rejecting you doesn't do wonders for your prospects with her peers but because that girl ended up with this chode miss queen bee rationalized that it must've been me who outclassed her (and again, that wasn't true at all) which automatically made me the price for her.
Insight Into the Female Brain
Anyway it gave me all the insight I needed in a female brain. They can only judge men relative to their visible social context. That's why sometimes you seem like the apex predator and sometimes you seem like a bottom feeder. You're the same person, what changes is your relative place on the hierarchy she lives inside.
It's just disappointed that it never really ends up being this close contested romantic game that you see in TV shows and movies. It's always either a thirsty slut or a cold shoulder.
I've seen this happen and experienced it quite a lot. It's partly human nature to chase the unattainable, but the chase is more than half of the fun.s Ones sudden elevation from the dogs dinner to Mr. Right when something external to you happens to shine a pretty light on you is much better than being out in the cold, but it does make it harder for you to tell yourself that they like you for you. I guess that's what makes liking you for you so important.
How Women Qualify Men
When the woman is the one qualifying you, it seems damn near impossible to meet all of her qualifications. But when you are the one qualifying the woman, it seems too damn easy to get her... And it could be the same woman! The freaky thing about attraction is that it is always about context. A fat guy with a super strong frame in the perfect social situation can frame control a woman into believing that he is the one seeing if she is good enough. And a woman can qualify a high value guy in the right context (night club).
After I discovered this phenomenon, I started to put myself in the best situations or frame control (online game) women into falling into my frame where I am the one seeing if I like her.
Of course, the "best situations" are being in social circles with a lot of attractive women.
Disqualifying Yourself
No matter how good looking or successful you are, if you find yourself in a frame where she is the one qualifying you, she will find one qualification you failed to live up to and reject you. Don't ask me why. It's just how women's brains work. And she will turn around and bang a 50% guy just because she had low expectations for him. He is "congruent" with his low value image.
Wayne Elise came up with a technique called disqualifying yourself. This works with smart women. You show women that you have no need to meet their qualifications. I have found that it is far more effective to frame control women into meeting your qualifications instead. Of course, it has to be genuine. I don't ever let women qualify me, ever. I set the frame from the VERY BEGINNING that I am the one seeing how interesting she is. And through hundreds upon hundreds of online conversation, no woman has ever squeezed out of my frame control. Why is that? It's because even the hottest women yearn to be taken by a strong man with high self-esteem. Sometimes, I run into a woman who can't believe how tight my frame is, and she absolutely loves it.
The secret of all secrets is that she wants to buy into your frame. It is in your frame that she finds meaning and comfort. It is not a frame battle. She is just fronting. At the end of the day, she wants to relax into your masculinity.
It's frustrating because it leads to an abundance in sex you don't particularly care about and a complete lack of sex that you feel would be the most gratifying to you.
Playing Your Cards Right
To some girls you're the biggest player and to some girls you're the biggest chode. Their actual market value doesn't really matter, all that matters is whether or not you played your cards right with that particular girl.
I have seen that play out in real life a few times. It's painful and it's pathetic. At college, one girl I was particularly infatuated about ended up with a guy that I always considered a bit of an insecure loser. The plus side was that this in turn emboldened one of her friends (who up to that point always acted like a queen bee around her) who I dated that ended in a stand-off to ask me out on a date again.
It felt counter-intuitive because normally a girl rejecting you doesn't do wonders for your prospects with her peers but because that girl ended up with this chode miss queen bee rationalized that it must've been me who outclassed her (and again, that wasn't true at all) which automatically made me the price for her.
Insight Into the Female Brain
Anyway it gave me all the insight I needed in a female brain. They can only judge men relative to their visible social context. That's why sometimes you seem like the apex predator and sometimes you seem like a bottom feeder. You're the same person, what changes is your relative place on the hierarchy she lives inside.
It's just disappointed that it never really ends up being this close contested romantic game that you see in TV shows and movies. It's always either a thirsty slut or a cold shoulder.
I've seen this happen and experienced it quite a lot. It's partly human nature to chase the unattainable, but the chase is more than half of the fun.s Ones sudden elevation from the dogs dinner to Mr. Right when something external to you happens to shine a pretty light on you is much better than being out in the cold, but it does make it harder for you to tell yourself that they like you for you. I guess that's what makes liking you for you so important.
Lear powerful strategies on dating and seduction at Pheromones-Planet.com.
Mark Alexander is dating and relationship advice blogger from Los Angeles, CA.
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Mark Alexander is dating and relationship advice blogger from Los Angeles, CA.
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